Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween

I was planning on having an update before Halloween, but unfortunately I wasn't able to, but I'll have something of interest to report very VERY soon.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Comment response response

I appreciate the input Jenn, CM, & Kitty.

I would say that masking is fairly integral to my personality, however it's not something I see myself absolutely needing in life. That's not to say I'm planning on giving it up or anything like that, it might just be that I'm currently in somewhat of a masking slump.. and I certainly know that when I'm single I mask like crazy, but it's definitely difficult doing it within a relationship where my partner doesn't know about it.

My main hang-up about telling her is that deviant sexuality is something totally new to her. Just getting her into any sort of latex garment only happened because I approached it in a slow, careful, and caring way. She's gotten a little more comfortable with wearing a few items, but anything like hoods, hats, jackets, belts, etc. are totally off limits (why those items? don't ask me why).

The other day I purposed that I wear some latex, but the thought frightened her. I think it's because the way she sees it is that I like how latex looks, so I'd like my partner to wear it on occasion so they can be more attractive to me.
It seems to kind of follow the logic of having one's girlfriend or wife wear a cheerleader costume or school girl uniform or what have you. However, the idea of having me also wear something seems completely foreign and crazy to her at this point. I guess it's the difference between me asking her to wear the sexy police officer costume and me asking her if it was OK if I did.. I think that analogy is pretty appropriate =P

All in all; I'm just trying to take things slow with her.

Previously I figured I'd never tell her cause we were both under the impression that we'd only be together for a month or two max, but it's been nearly half a year and looks as though things could just keep going (but equally likely that things could end abruptly).
I'm thinking that I'll introduce it to her if and when she's ready, which will most likely come after the point when I feel ready to accept her into that part of my life.
So if that happens, I'll make sure to let you all know!

Monday, October 27, 2008

update of sorts

Okay, well nothing new of my own to report, but fortunately ClosetMonster updated his site.

Check it out!

Thursday, October 23, 2008


Hey, I just uploaded a couple new 'preview' videos over at The one above is there, but if you want to see the 'mature' preview, you'll have to check the site yourself

Saturday, October 18, 2008

comment response

(picture from 'doll skin' pack)

About my girlfriend:
As far as I know, she doesn't know anything about my masking or CDing. However, she does know about my affinity for latex, and she voluntarily wears some about half or a third of the times we're intimate.
I think she realizes my fetishes runs a bit deeper than what I have exposed her to; cause it must seem a bit strange that I have a seemingly unending wardrobe of woman's latex for her to wear, a room in my house I've always subtly kept her from (but she's been in my home alone before, so I have no idea if she's been inside or not), and in random conversations she's dropped odd hints where she seems to know a little more about me than I've shown her, however nothing clear enough for me to actually call her on.

I've only told one girl I've been involved with about my masking, she took it fine. Another girl I know, knows about it and is quite encouraging of it, however both cases weren't calculated events.

So, does anybody here have any stories to share about telling their partners about their fetish?

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


Unfortunately no new content, I've kind of been in a masking slump lately.

However earlier tonight I had the strange urge to wear a dildo.. then as I went to go get the harness I saw my short jean shorts and also decided to put those on. Don't ask me why..

While sitting and watching a movie with my prosthetic erection busting through my tiny shorts I started thinking about fetish and deviant sexuality.
It seems easy to pass off things that are different or strange as just that, different and strange, but there has to be some reason behind it. Why did I randomly feel the urge to wear the things I did? Or why have I dropped over a grand in buying a femskin? or should I say 'femskins'

I feel like much of it (for me) comes down to novelty and a desire to attain beauty, in the feminine sense. I've come to realize that I tend to constantly want something new sexually, that's not to say I want another partner, but I'm always in the market for some new toy or gadget to somehow change or enhance sex and masturbation.
With wanting to attain beauty, I don't really know what it is, it doesn't seem like enough to have an attractive girlfriend, but rather that I feel the necessity to actually be the object of beauty (rather than merely contain and be around it).
Unfortunately I've just been SO busy and exhausted with work that I really don't have the time or energy to. Although, getting regular sex has somewhat quelled my urge to mask, especially my girlfriend doesn't know about my masking, which also makes it difficult.

anyway, this was more an explanation of why I've been absent, but there will be new stuff soon. How soon? I can't say

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

still alive

Hey, I just wanted to check in and tell everyone that I'm still alive!
I'll try to get a real post up here in the near future

Monday, October 6, 2008


Well, there's a new video in the $1.50 store.
It's a dance video.
There are also 51 pictures from the following photo-set included with it.

Anyway, I'm wearing a new greyland mask as well as a new wig.. aaand a new top, I ordered it on clearance thinking it was going to be a different color, unfortunately for me all sales were final. However, I don't think it looks all that bad, so I'm not too upset in keeping it. =P

Friday, October 3, 2008

why so glum?

Here's a preview of things to come.


Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Where's the line?

Before I get into this entry, I just want to put up the disclaimer that it's a bit darker, more twisted, and a lot more morbid than my normal entries..
About a week ago I stumbled across this sketch for a mask accompanied with photographs the actual mask itself over at composite effects. (click the name for the website)
if you can't tell from the drawing, it's a man wearing the skin of a womans head over is own.

So about the mask, it's pretty grotesque, but conceptually fairly interesting. I was wondering why 'gain' was spelled 'gein,' so I checked wikipedia and came up with Ed Gein.
I was pretty astonished at what I found with his crimes, involving digging up corpses from graveyards and making bowls out of their skulls, couches from their skin, etc. He also apparently made a 'suit' out of woman's skin. Him and his crimes inspired movies like 'Silence of the Lambs' and 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre." I'm sure there's more movies and details I'm missing, but it's unimportant.

It got me thinking about the thin line between grotesque crime and grotesque art.
More concisely, why is it that Ed Gein is considered a psychotic felon and Gunther von Hagens (creator of the "Bodies" exhibit) is considered an artist?
(picture from the 'bodies' exhibit)

The simple answer is that the bodies used by von Hagens were apparently from consenting donors while Gein simply stole them. Von Hagens also did it in and for the public domain with proper authorization while Gein did not.

Anyway, I got to see the bodies exhibit a couple months ago and was intrigued, but at the same time digusted. The thing that disturbed me most about the pieces was thinking about someone spending night after night laboring over corpses; removing skin, organs, arteries, veins, bones, etc. The very thought turned my stomach while looking at the plastisized lifeless bodies frozen in front of me.

I understand that it's considered art and I do see how it can be considered art, but if someone were to get consent to use bodies to remove their skin, make suits out of them, then sew living models into them to stand and live on display, would that be art?
Not to sound twisted, but I would definitely see that exhibit!
Anyway, it just struck me as strange that two men did very similar things (von Hagen just did it on a more methodical and larger scale), but one was made a criminal and the other was made a famous artist.
It just seems a little backwards to me...