Curvy Girl

Curvy Girl (Preview - Clean) - free preview video on pornhub


Curvy Girl on my C4S site - click here

Mis Matched: Panty F*king (free-preview)

Ok, it's not so much of a preview as it is a video-file that I forgot to transfer, so it's just some found-footage. I didn't know what to do with it, so I put it up on PH. Click the text to have a look! Just be warned, there's some silicone-nudity in it 😲

What masking is to me (over the years)

Backstory:

My first love/fetish was latex and anything shiny, then as a teen I came across some kigurumi and fell in love with the masking in general.

It wasn't until years and years later did I buy my first catsuit, which quickly led to female masks.Then I started this blog, mostly to explain my fetish to my girlfriend at the time and to help contribute back into the community.
After we broke up I started taking more videos and putting them up on the internet. At this point masking and latex became interwoven with my professional life, seeing masking and dressing as a means to making money. This sort of ruined the fetish for me for a while. I amassed lots of gear, but I found myself more and more often feeling obligated to mask, even at times when I didn't feel like it. This then led to a period of my life where I was going through bouts of feeling down and depressed. I noticed that when I masked, I wouldn't feel depressed anymore, however sometimes even while masking I would get disappointed. The combination of all these things led me to quitting masking altogether for a number of years. 

When getting back into masking, I told myself that I wasn't going to be sharing things online again, like I was in the past, I'd do it just for myself. I think this was the right way to approach it, since without the pressure of other's expectations, it helped me focus more on the moment when I was masking and looking at the camera as a means to fully experience and capture myself dressing, as opposed to a way to make some money. 

What masking is to me:
When I dress I find it to be a mix of totally sexual, completely uncomfortable and frustrating. The process of putting on a mask, eye makeup,  eye lashes prepping the wig, etc etc. These are all fun things. However, to me, I'm not masking properly unless I'm 100 covered in rubber. So the process of wriggling into silicone is such a long and difficult process, however the payoff is the pictures I achieve and also when I look in the mirror my brain gets delightfully confused looking at the silicone girl staring back at me.
The drawback to the silicone suit and padding and suits in general, is that it takes center-stage when dressing. By the time I have the suit on, I'm already 1-2 hours into the dressing process and I'm covered in sweat, so putting on the make-up and mask is almost an after-thought, which I don't particularly like. 

As of recently I'd say about 50% of the time I'm really pleased with the way the look turns out and I'm happy and turned on and everything is great. However, the other 50% of the time, I feel disappointed with the look and will either keep dressing until I'm satisfied or just snap a few shots and admit defeat. 

When I'm looking at my own pictures, I find them to be really sexual and exciting or disappointing (and I don't share those, most of the time). However, when I look at others masking, I either find it to be tremendously sexy or I'm amazed at the engineering involved (particularly good wig-work, make up, blending of the eyes, body-shape, etc.). 

As a whole, I would say that masking is sexual (by nature) for me at least. My inroad to masking was through latex and total enclosure, so wearing a female mask is akin to wearing a latex gimp-mask. Wearing the silicone suit or a latex suit is comparable to, well, wearing a latex or silicone suit, I find these materials to be extremely erotic on their own. So when I mask, yes part of the goal is to look good and to try my best to "pass" or approach a doll-like uncanny valley. However the other goal is the sensation of being fully enclosed in stretchy, gummy, unforgiving material. There tends to always reach a point when I'm fully mask/suited where I become fully present and everything becomes somehow erotic, even watching TV, cleaning, etc. Unfortunately, with the bodysuits, it makes going to the bathroom virtually impossible, so my sessions need to be brief. I wish I could suit all-day, but unfortunately that is not an option given how I dress right now. 

The biggest cons with dressing in silicone is that the CreaFX masks are very delicate and given how large my head is, they can only sustain so many wears before ripping. The same can be said about the Eyung silicone bodysuits. I've ripped the zipper suits I own a good number of times and have always needed to patch them after dressing, the same can be said about the masks I've been using. This has led me to trying to dress more in the zipperless bodysuit I have from Eyung, however just yesterday when dressing two holes appeared in the neck, then upon taking it off these two small holes turned into a very large hole. This means I will need to cut off about 5 inches off the neck, which I am not looking forward to doing, since it will impact the structural integrity of the suit, however leaving the hole makes the rip-risk even higher.
These rips give me anxiety, since I'm afraid that if it rips enough it will render the suit un-usable and the same can be said about the masks. I sometimes feel like "I'm really me" (in this sexualized yet mundane and honest sort of way) when I'm dressing, then when undressing it's disappointing to remember that to be "myself" I need to be paying thousands of dollars for these products that are great! but have a very clear shelf-life and will need to be replaced periodically. Just due to the material and the stress that is put on them. 

My big frustration with masking in general is that it's so tremendously expensive (the way I do it at least) and even after paying these expenses, these items need to be replaced fairly regularly. I kind of envy people who are into rope and bondage, because when you buy rope or a D-ring or cuffs, etc. these items with some minimal maintenance will last for years and years, while it seems like the masks will last me about 8 months to a year with very infrequent wear and the bodysuits have lasted from 2-wears to now about 6 (with the zipperless suit that is now ripping). This is the whole reason I charge for my videos, it actually frustrates me that I feel like I'm gouging people with my same sexual interest as me, but even for me the best take-away from a dressing session are the pictures and videos themselves. I enjoy watching my own videos, since I get the enjoyment of seeing a body covered in silicone without the discomfort of putting on/taking it off, but I also paid for it in that I literally paid for all the items I'm wearing (and ripping and wearing out) in the video. So it seems fair that if people also want to share in this moment with me (wearing usually about 2K USD worth of gear/garments) to have them help chip-in a little bit, so that can help me pay for the next suit/mask that I will need when these inevitably break down. Also, even with all the sales I do make on my videos, it generally covers maybe 5-15% of total costs. So I'm certainly no longer looking to get rich or feel obligated to those who contribute, I'm just hoping that through sharing others who enjoy it can help shoulder that financial burden for me, just a little.

Another thing I like about masking (as opposed to my latex fetish) is that it's something I can do, pretty much to it's fullest degree while I'm by myself. With latex I've always felt like I'm constantly pressuring my partner into dressing for me. Then when they do dress, a lot of the fun is taken out of it cause they're uncomfortable and take this attitude of "are you f*king happy now?" which doesn't really get me in the mood. So in a way, it's nice that much of my sexuality rests in my own hands and I don't need to be compromising my life/time with someone just to experience sexual satisfaction. The drawback is that I'm not highly motivated to find and keep a partner, since I think most people want a partner as a means to having sex or sexual satisfaction, where I don't feel such pressure since I've found that masking feeds a sexual side of me that can't be achieved through basic normal sex or even kinky latex sex. 

But long-story short, I find masking to be sexual all/most of the time, since I see the material itself as being erotic. I think there is a divide (probably more than just one) between maskers who are into the gear and the fetish of it and those who want to be outside and to pass. I fall into the first category, where I want the rubber and the sweat and the discomfort. However, if you fall into the second category, good for you! You're probably more on the trans-spectrum than I am and I respect that a lot, however I think that those who want to be out in public while femmed out, masking may just be a stepping stone for them to fully realizing their sexual identity. Or it could be a mix of masking and exhibitionism, while my mix is masking a rubber-fetish. Either way, it's all good! I just wanted to share my personal feelings on masking. Thanks for reading!

Anima: Leather Look Jeans (free-clean on PH)

Anima: Leather Look Jeans (clean)

New C4S video: Leather Quickie

click here to visit my store!

It's a short one this time, only 3 minutes. I wasn't sure what to do with it, so I put it up on C4S even though it's so brief. Just some quick dress-up! not quite as extravagant as the last few videos, but showing off/trying out another silicone top I have and these new faux-leather racer jeans ;)

Anima: Pink Hair, Rubber Jeans (Free pornhub video)

Anima: Pink Hair, Rubber Jeans



would have been YT video that accompanies the F*ing Rubber Jeans C4S video. Enjoy!

updating site security

Some folks from Facebook were having trouble linking to my page, so I updated some of my security settings. So now you will 1) see an age verification page before being let in and 2) there's a little pad-lock at the top left of the screen, to the left of the link address.

So it is secure! Everything should be ok. If anyone encounters any security issues please e-mail me or post a comment and I'll get working on it ASAP.
Thanks!

Rubber Switch (free video on pornhub)

Click here to see the video! 

And no, it's not pornographic, but it's where I'm hosting the videos I would previously put on youtube, since they flagged my content as being against their TOS policies.

fetish and visibility

When I was masking more in the past, before I dropped it for a few years, I was reaching a point where I was getting swamped by people sending demanding, demeaning, and generally unpleasant messages. It was a small part of what made me feel ok about leaving masking for a little while.

Now that I'm back and being on platforms like instagram and facebook, I feel much more visible than ever, which carries some pros and cons.
Pros: I'm easier to find and it's easier for me to communicate with like-minded people.
Cons: Lots of unsuspecting people stumble across my content and will send me disgusted, hateful, or just mean messages.  

I've been telling myself that for every mean message or even every 10 mean messages I get, there's probably one person stumbling across my content for the first time and thinking "I don't know what this is, but I think I like it." (which makes me happy, cause I want to connect with more freaky freaks like myself)

However, many of the messages are from young girls who are surprised and horrified, which isn't awesome, but I can't blame them. It's hard for me to imagine how odd I must look to someone (generally a cis fem) who isn't expecting to stumble across me. So even though these messages aren't great, I can't hold it against them (mostly due to age). Although, it sometimes feels like someone walking into a sex-shop and recoiling in horror when they see a dildo. I mean, what did you expect? but still, they're young and it is the internet so it is what it is. 

In the past I used the mantra, "you know you're doing well once you start getting haters," as in, popularity and hateful messages are correlated, so the more negative stuff you get thrown at you means that your popularity (or at least visibility) is going up as well.

Now I think a little differently. Now, I think that these negative messages (from people who are not children expressing surprise) are from people who are just behind the times. I see people insulting me as being the same thing as someone thinking women are second class citizens prior to the women's rights movement or someone who used the N-word before the civil rights movement or someone who today will antagonize those in the LGBTQ community, since the gender ID and orientation movement is still happening now. These people don't know it yet, but society is changing and this way of thinking is antiquated (in my eyes) and will soon be extinct. 

So maybe this can help you too (if you experience this) to just look at these messages as the prolonged death rattle of a disappearing generation of close-minded people.

C4S previews should be working now

It was brought to my attention that some of the previews for my clips on my C4S page were not working. I corrected a few things and now the previews for: Silicone Surfer Girl, Latex and Silicone, and F*ing Rubber Jeans should all be working.
If you have issues, try refreshing the page. For continued issues, please feel free to e-mail me, drop a message here, or contact C4S.

F*ing Rubber Jeans

New video up at my C4S page. In this video I'm wearing a new darker silicone bodysuit and a custom painted version of Sophia (Creafx). 

This is one of my favorite videos that I've made so far and watched this one myself quite a few times, I'm really turned on in it! Check it out over at my C4S page or click here!

F*ing Rubber Jeans: photos

Here are all the photos taken from the "F*ing rubber jeans" photo series associated with the video at my C4S page. 

Plans on going from YT to porn hub

So the last dance vlog I posted to youtube was initially flagged as a strike for sexual content and then removed, leaving me with a penalty for the next 3 months. In this time I read through their policies and truly see that I'm not really a good fit for youtube, since they are explicit about banning "fetish" content as well as dancing that emphasizes certain body parts (not explicitly written out in their policies). I don't think I can get around the "fetish" nature of the videos that I put out, even when there's nothing overtly sexual being shown. So I'm thinking about putting the videos I was originally going to put on youtube on pornhub, so it can still be viewed for free, as long as you verify your age. So just an update that I'm still figuring out a place to put my videos that are not overtly sexual for people to see for free. I just need another week or two before I get it all sorted out.