oh me, oh my

Well, I finally heard back from the Japanese government.
My visa has been approved, which means I should be moving back to Japan soon-ish.. However, I thought that it had all fallen though, so I made plans to stick around. So I'm totally confused as to what I should do!!!The main drawback with going back is that it's going to cost a ton!
However, the main asset is that I loved being there and I have about as many friends there as I have here, as well as family.

decisions, decisions.

test

I see that there's this video option thing, so I'm just posting this video I accidentally took when I thought I was taking a picture. I think it's kinda obvious how I go to pose, then realize that nothing happened, so I go back to turn it off.


(oh yeah, it's kinda warped cause I had to flip the image)

Also, I chose this video over other ones cause... the other ones are a little mature to be putting on this site.
=P

a quick upload before bed

T's and V's

Well, pretty soon I'm going to be in the market for something new.. I'm always turned on by skirts, pants, and other things that cover my lower-half. However, I've come to realize that aside from catsuits, all my rubber is lower-body oriented. So I'm in dire need of some sort of top. regardless of how badly I want those new Simon-O capris (the 3/4 pants).

The other day I looked at my pile of latex, lube, rubber, masks, catsuits, dildos, vibrators, jeans, shoes, boots, wigs, etc. It strikes me less of a fetish wardrobe and more of a collection of various prosthetics and disguises. A pile of tricks and illusions where the sum is the ability for Anima to exist.. and to a lesser extent, Animus..

it's strange, looking at shopping for a new garment not so much as an individual piece of clothing that I want, but rather strategic way of helping create a look or complete an ideal.. Cause I really do need some sort of blouse or something to cover my upper-half and arms.
=/

response to Closet*
I've actually been dancing for about 8 years now and just started teaching kinda legitimately. However, I lost track of most of the episodes myself.
=P

I'm so bad about keeping up with TV shows for some reason.

Yargh

Well, "So You Think You Can Dance?" is over...
however, my favorite dancer (Sabra) won,
yay!
Ok, back to reality.

cam-virgin no more

So this is not at all fetish related, however I'm gonna write about it anyway.
=p

Well, I've been talking to D on and off for the past while, regardless of whether it's been good for me or not. I guess I've been a little bit lonely lately with only a couple friends around to hang out with, but never speak too seriously with.

Anyway, D's been bugging me to chat with her over web-cam, but I've been consistently avoiding it, just cause I feel like it'll be awkward and I don't see what's wrong with just chatting over the phone. However, the other day she wore me down at an opportune moment when I was totally bored and had recently remembered where my web-cam was.

So after some coercion she convinced me to hook mine up and we started talking. At first I couldn't help but find it awkward, cause my strongest association to web-cams is for more adult or at least more fetish / sexual related purposes.

After I got past the fact that this chat wasn't some inherently sexual thing and we really started communicating more normally I started to realize the allure of using web-cams. There were times when it felt as though we were just hanging out, talking, like two normal people in the same room.
There was a moment when she started talking about slightly more serious... or at least personal matters, dealing with wanting to perform fairly G-rated acts on me. I started to entertain the possibilities when I reached out toward the screen and thought (as well as basically said), "that would be great, but... we've got this... country between us.."

In the end I felt fairly frustrated, as though I was on a diet and looking through the window of a pastry shop... or quitting smoking while walking through a smoky bowling alley.

This actually all ties back to my inherent dislike for technology in general. Regardless of how much I like video-games, DVDs, and the internet, I hate what technology has done for people and relationships. I dislike how people who know one another intimately can continue feeling close, even though they may be far from one another. I think in so many ways it goes against nature, when people are far from one another, they should feel that way, when people are close, then they should feel that way, but when one feels close when they are far... it's just pain... in my opinion at least.

it's probably why web cams tend to be normally used for more... recreational purposes.
hehe.

still kickin'

Welp, I just recently got my mask back from Betty LaBamba who was nice enough to fix my mask.So now it seems like I don't need a new mask. However, that's not to suggest I couldn't use one. Hmm hmm, I'll have to figure something out, but it's not too huge of a deal.

Also, I wanted to also put up something new, even though it's not too exciting.

I just wanted to show everyone, myself included, that I was still up to masking and all that.. However, tonight I didn't really go all out or anything cause... well, it's pretty late, plus I haven't unloaded a lot of my rubber and x-dressing gear yet.

I really think I might've lost some weight, cause everything was fitting kinda loosely, except for the corset of course. hehe
:P

pay-off

Soooooo my ads finally reached 100 dollars... which means it's pay-day!!
Hmmm, I don't know what to get with it... a mask? some article of clothing?!

Anyway, thank you visitors!!

*response to closet:
thank you for the comment. I'm happy that you and presumably others feel that way about me/my site.
However, I also feel like many or most things in my life take priority over my fetish... functionally, yet unfortunately.

now for something a little different...

I took this picture while I was in Japan.
However, while posting it now I'm realizing that I hardly ever put any pictures of myself up while in my normal, masculine form. (however, I guess I call my male side 'Animus' and this isn't Animus's site, so I guess it's fitting)

I also realized that this is also one of the few pictures where my real face is actually exposed, ok... partially exposed.
I think I've talked about this before, but when I first started putting pictures online I made the conscious decision not to reveal my face... not only to keep myself 'anonymous' but moreover because I think that when someone, especially a guy, shows their real face on the net then it says a lot about them.
It's saying one of a few things:
I'm all about latex, fetish, x-dressing, etc. so much so that it's a central to my personality.
I'm trying to find a mate through this online identity.
Or that I'm really after a more real transformation, opposed to a superficial one.

and honestly, I've always been more interested in the process of changing my form, face, genitalia, etc. with prosthetics. So I feel as though I fall into the category of masker and x-dresser who always keeps their face hidden, not to remain anonymous, but rather... I think it's better that way, never knowing what's under the silicone, padding, mask, and rubber, because honestly, nobody comes to this site to see my real face anyway
XP

*Response to Closet:
ya, while browsing google images I did find a few pictures of her with short hair, however the poses were all different. So I picked a picture that was a bit more iconic and probably more recognizable to most people.

RE:

Closet:
silver sable?unfortunately I haven't read any comics in years, however with the aid of google I was able to see who you are talking about.
it's flattering. =D
I kind of see the resemblance (she kind of looks like storm actually).

Ghostly:
I do suppose I would need to be in all silver for it to really work. Unfortunately the silver catsuit I was wearing in this photo ripped!! :(
and yeah, it seems all too often that I need to try to guilt some comments out of my visitors as well.
bleeh, it's no fun, is it?

sarahbright:
thanks for the long, intricate message.
I too used to feel the way you do about rubbering up (I'm using the past tense partially because it's been such a long time for me :P ). However, the last few times that I dressed, I found it to be less erotic and myself feeling like less of an object..
I was dressing so frequently that it was like I was kind of shifting into a slightly altered personality, a persona I was getting so aquainted with that it wasn't inherently exciting anymore.

The reason for me dressing more was to let that part of myself out along with the fact that I liked the whole process of thinking of ideas that may help me achieve a more feminine look, then putting different garments together to help create the illusion.
I have had some interest in dressing, yet I haven't for 2 reasons.
1) I don't have any new & fun gear to get me excited about dressing.
2) NJ is in the middle of a heat-wave.. so it's not just hot, it's disgustingly, health-threateningly hot.
blaah.