cam-virgin no more

So this is not at all fetish related, however I'm gonna write about it anyway.
=p

Well, I've been talking to D on and off for the past while, regardless of whether it's been good for me or not. I guess I've been a little bit lonely lately with only a couple friends around to hang out with, but never speak too seriously with.

Anyway, D's been bugging me to chat with her over web-cam, but I've been consistently avoiding it, just cause I feel like it'll be awkward and I don't see what's wrong with just chatting over the phone. However, the other day she wore me down at an opportune moment when I was totally bored and had recently remembered where my web-cam was.

So after some coercion she convinced me to hook mine up and we started talking. At first I couldn't help but find it awkward, cause my strongest association to web-cams is for more adult or at least more fetish / sexual related purposes.

After I got past the fact that this chat wasn't some inherently sexual thing and we really started communicating more normally I started to realize the allure of using web-cams. There were times when it felt as though we were just hanging out, talking, like two normal people in the same room.
There was a moment when she started talking about slightly more serious... or at least personal matters, dealing with wanting to perform fairly G-rated acts on me. I started to entertain the possibilities when I reached out toward the screen and thought (as well as basically said), "that would be great, but... we've got this... country between us.."

In the end I felt fairly frustrated, as though I was on a diet and looking through the window of a pastry shop... or quitting smoking while walking through a smoky bowling alley.

This actually all ties back to my inherent dislike for technology in general. Regardless of how much I like video-games, DVDs, and the internet, I hate what technology has done for people and relationships. I dislike how people who know one another intimately can continue feeling close, even though they may be far from one another. I think in so many ways it goes against nature, when people are far from one another, they should feel that way, when people are close, then they should feel that way, but when one feels close when they are far... it's just pain... in my opinion at least.

it's probably why web cams tend to be normally used for more... recreational purposes.
hehe.