Time for an update

Welp, the femskin is sold, sigh..

Anyway, something that I've noticed that is strange with me and masking/latex is my continued necessity to partake in that side of myself. I know, it seems like an obvious observation considering I've made this site and all and do cross dress pretty frequently, but hear me out.

So yeah, I've known this for quite a while, like with my ex I'd still need to use latex or something fetish or masking related at least once every couple weeks.
However it's been a long time since I've been in that relationship, so over the past couple years I've had random flings and girls around who one would normally consider a 'girl friend' but we'd never take on the title. A result of having these 'flings' is that I don't have normal sex. So without having sex as often as I would like, I figured that when I was horny (and couldn't have sex) I would just cross dress as a way to release my built-up urges.
However for the past few months I've been in a relationship with this fantastic, but sexually inexperienced girl.

The first night we hooked up I stupidly blurted out stuff about me and latex, (I say 'stupidly' cause that's something that would probably scare off most girls). However, with her it didn't, but she recently did tell me that she secretly vowed to herself that she'd never do anything latex related.
But I suppose some time has passed and with some persuasion I've gotten her into a couple latex items, most notably last weekend we were getting ready to watch a movie and happened to be naked. So as I was getting her clothes to go upstairs I grabbed a latex shirt of mine and presented it to her to wear instead of the shirt she was wearing before. She knew I was half joking, but at the same time being half serious. She accepted without putting up any fuss.

We laid on the couch and started watching the movie. As the opening credits began to roll I became intoxicated with the mixed perfume of her skin and latex. I watched the first scene upside down reflected on her rubber clad chest and within minutes couldn't take it anymore.
I grabbed her from behind and started groping her chest through the shiny exterior, she gasped, surprised by my forwardness. I slid my hand down under her snugly fitting jeans and beneath her panties, she began to moan, and I flipped her over on her back.
"my god, I'm gonna wear latex every day!" she chuckling responded as I plugged her mouth with my tongue.

I dragged her back downstairs and took everything off except for the shirt. She laid on her back and I remember distinctly how her head jerked back violently with each thrust. As I was approaching climax I had a slightly strange and primal realization. The sticky pop and slaps of the latex when coming into contact with flesh, the aroma of rubber and sweat, it all seemed to fit together so perfectly in this moment. I made one final press into her, gripping her shoulders tightly, I perfectly remember the way the skintight rubber felt when sliding gently against her skin between my fingers. My eyes rolled back and I wasn't able to think of a latex experience quite like this one. It was raw, emotional, and uniquely sexual (of course).

Afterward I wondered why I hadn't experienced anything like that with my ex, since she did wear rubber and would accompany me for much of my masking.. however in retrospect I realized that she was always willing to partake in fetish related things with me, but always seemed to have secret reservations about it. I then made the connection as to why this experience was so different, the girl I'm with now is more willing to expose herself to things without holding back.
"If I knew that's how you'd react I'd wear latex all the time!" she said with a huge grin on her face.
I smiled and started to helped her out of the shirt.
"You know, for me latex is like sprinkles," I responded while pulling the zipper down her back.
"what?" she chuckled.
"Well, I just want you to know it's you, it's not the latex or the rubber, but it's you with sprinkles.. you get it?"
there was a silence.
"So" I continued, "it's like if I put sprinkles on dog poop. It wouldn't make it good, it'd just make it dog poop with sprinkles on top. But you're like my favorite dessert, but just with sprinkles on top, get it?"
She smiled and kissed me on the forehead, "I think I understand."

I pulled the shirt from her wrists-
"Sorry, I think I sweat in it a bit," she said in an apologetic tone.
"That's a good sign," I cast her a smile thinking that all the time I've spent mulling over my fetish is finally starting to pay off in being able to approach it with the people I care about in a thoughtful, complex, but most importantly, truthful way.
"...believe me."

That night we slept holding one another, and as she dreamed I watched her pupils twitch underneath close lids thinking that I don't know if I've ever felt this close with anyone before.. and she doesn't even know about my masking or x-dressing side yet!

That morning I awoke to her undressed back walking out of the room. I turned away toward the wall and began to drift back to sleep as I heard a bang from upstairs. I realized that she was in my game-room and I thought to myself that she must've been using my computer. Normally it wouldn't have bothered me, but for some reason I had this thought that continually came crashing back into my head that she found something incriminating on my computer. and I continually told myself it was nonsense and tried to go back to sleep. Eventually I did.

What seemed like seconds later she reentered the room saying that she was going to leave. I told her that I would walk her out, as we got outside she stopped me. She was visibly uncomfortable, "oh god, I knew this was too good to be true, here comes something terrible," I thought (which is what I've been thinking from the beginning with her because things have been going well).

"So I was on your computer and.. I didn't mean to invade your privacy, but.. I mean, well."
"Just say it!" I barked at her.
"I opened your 'to do' list on your desktop-"
She went on with an explanation while apologizing relentlessly.
"and I found this thing.. and I didn't know what it was so I had to check online what it was.. and that's what I spent most of the morning on your computer doing."
I let out a deep sigh thinking, "well, she's found the femskin and probably thinks I'm a total freak," cause out of context cross-dressing and masking seem pretty perverse, but wearing a silicone female skin that costs 1.5 thousand dollars might be a bit much to swallow!

"So do you have one?" she asked.
"one what?"
"you know what I'm talking about"
"Just say it"
"I don't want to, but we're talking about the same thing, I know we are."
"Just say it-" it went on like this for some time since I've seen too many comedies where two people think they're talking about the same thing and they're not and it just turns into one big mess. I was certain she was talking about my x-dressing and femskin.

So I was eventually able to pry it out of her,
"So do you have a real-doll? and can I see it?"
"What?!" I was shocked and relieved, "what file did you look through?" I then remembered that I had tried to send the people at real-doll an e-mail a while back but it didn't work. So I kept it saved in a text file on my desktop in case I wanted to message them again. However, my intention in doing this was more to see if I could convert one of the doll-heads into a mask, but it wasn't hugely apparent in the e-mail.

"No, no, I don't have one," I truthfully replied.
"Ok, but if you have one, I hope you know that it's fine with me. At first I was almost ready to write you off for latex, but now I don't think there's anything that would change how I view and feel about you."

It was sweet and nice and I've been quite happy with this new girl, however I haven't brought her up here (on this blog) until now mainly because 1) there hasn't been anything relevant or fetish related to report and 2) because I've had and still have the concern that it's going to come to a grinding halt in the near future (not because of anything fetish related).

So to get back to my original point, cause I've deviated a bit. Even happily being with this girl and having more sex than I can handle, I'm still inclined to cross dress, mask, and wear rubber rather often, which has only proven to me that it's really become a part of my identity, which is on one hand a little relieving and on the other, a little scary (since it's an expensive hobby and one you can't tell the neighbors about)

Anyway, I was going to write more, but I seriously need some sleep