(pictures from photo-set 'white haired trash,' they can only be found in the 'everything!' special or the 'birthday' special)

Maaan, work is taking a toll on me!
I haven't had the time or energy to dress up lately, even though I really want to! Plus with the outfits I have on the way, I really have my work cut out for me. hehe

Anyway, I was hanging out with my girlfriend earlier today, of whom I'll just call 'Z' arbitrarily, cause I kind of hate saying 'my girlfriend' all the time. Anyway, we were walking around a mall and we passed a Victoria's Secret. She opted that we go in, so we did. She wanted me to pick out something 'sexy' for her to try on. I looked around and said, "I think we're in the wrong store for that." She smiled knowing what I was referring to. I then voiced my liking for her in boy-shorts.

As we looked through different kinds and cuts of underwear two things became obvious; 1) themed cotton underwear is just silly and 2) the store-girls were watching me like little trendy hawks.

Z picked out a few items to try on and got a dressing room. She walked down the hallway toward the room, then turned back and signaled for me to come. 'Umm' I unconsciously hummed out as I took a hesitant step forward.

"You can't go in with her," a sales girl barked at me without even lifting her head from folding panties.

With a disappointed look Z went into the dressing room alone.

While I waited outside a recurring thought came back into my mind.
In general I've given my masking and female identity a lot of thought, however having girlfriends in the past have always helped shape my own view of femininity in what it is to be a girl. I think lots of us look at women sometimes think, 'wow, I wish I could look like that!' I know that I've caught myself on occasion looking at girls being utterly gorgeous, yet it seems to come to them so naturally and effortlessly that I can't help but feel a little jealous.

However, I feel like that kind of feminine beauty comes from 3 essential parts.

The first is genetic. Their hip to waist to shoulder ratio is just different from ours, it's just the way it is. Their bone structures, facial features, etc. are inherently different. So as cross-dressers there's not a whole lot we can do about that (emphasis on 'cross-dressers' and not transgendered or transexual). So for me personally, I prefer masks over anything else, so that's my personal solution to the facial differences.
However, Z has been dying to put makeup on me, so I'm going to let her do that sometime in the near future.. I'll just have to try not to enjoy it.
Also padding is my solution to the other ratio issues.

The second is based in mannerisms and movement. As a dance teacher I pay lots of attention to how people move and well, guys and girls move differently. Although, there are lots of girls that I have met and taught who don't exactly move in a feminine way, which just goes to show that on some level it's a learned skill. Although, on the flip side of the coin, men have also learned how to move like men, but all I'm getting at is that this quality of beauty is certainly attainable by men.

The third is dressing to ones strengths. I've noticed with all my girlfriends in the past have had very specific styles, as most girls do. However having gotten to know them well, I also got to know their dressing, shopping, and makeup habits quite well. I've also become familiar with their likes and dislikes aesthetically.
With my last ex for example, she always looked great wearing her hair up or down, long or short, she never wore makeup and tended to wear my clothes pretty often. So it was hard to gleen many fashion tips from her. However there were a few things she did to play up her features, but nothing to downplay, which ultimately didn't help me much in creating a 'look.'
However, with the girl I'm with now, the first few times I hung out with her I noticed she has a very specific look, which I adore, but wasn't able to put my finger on. However, upon getting to know her better, I've become familiar with her dressing preferences and strategies, one of which I'm trying to imitate with one of my new outfits coming in the mail. She also has shown me (by example) the importance of a good pair of jeans.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that many of us cross dressers latch on to certain clothes and expect that something that makes one girl look good will make us look good too, but the truth is that it's not that way at all. Through childhood and adolescence many girls play around with different fashions and garments, constantly figuring out and evaluating what works best with their body type, what will play up their positive features and what will hide their negative ones. So as someone who cross dresses I think it's important to try to do the same, what'll hide our shoulders, what'll make our hips look larger and waist smaller? Also, does the outfit overall look believable? cause things like hooker boots and sissy dresses don't mix. Finally, would anyone ever actually wear it? Which I think is one of the great things about vanilla clothes, cause it's more believable... in theory =P

"Ok, lets go."
Z snapped me back into reality,
she took my hand and we walked out of the store.
"So, how were the boy shorts?"