So I have had more time on my hands lately, however I have also been filling my time with more things, so it's felt like I've had less.
However, I have had numerous occasions where dressing or masking would be possible, however I haven't for a while now. It has been sort of odd and I wonder if my interests are shifting.
Something that always bothered me with masking which could be a part of my reluctance recently is this feeling of pursuing something that feels impossible. There have been many occasions where I've dressed and quickly felt like the I made a mistake with the look: the pads aren't sitting right, the mask + wig isn't looking good, the outfit doesn't really work well, etc. There have also been occasions where I'm surprised and pleased with the outfit and look, but somehow there's a level of interaction or engagement that still feels like it's lacking. The best way I can describe it is, when I was a child I collected some action figures and would play with them. I'd see the commercials and watch the TV shows or movies that they were from and would get these enormous hopes about how having this action figure will somehow capture the interest and magic of the source material. Then once I had the figure in hand, after a day or so would be staring at it and thinking, "that's all this is? somehow I thought this would be more."
I sometimes have felt the same way looking in the mirror while dressed.
It's exciting and sexual and fun, yes, but somehow still feels unattainable. Maybe this is just me and the way I engage with my fetish, but to me I think the fantasy is to be a woman and dress myself in latex. However, the "be a woman" part is what is difficult and is the part that feels unattainable.. even when I have ostensibly attained it. It's a sort of hard thing to describe, I wonder if others have felt the same way?
Questions for you:
Before masking and dressing, do you sometimes feel sort of down and depressed?
If you end up having some free time and decide to dress, what is your process of getting there? Is there a mood or a feeling involved? Do you normally pre-plan and are excited for the occasion? how does that look to you?
4 comments:
I pre-plan (have to do that anyway as I don't have many opportunities to have the house to myself) and buy a few new clothing items to try out and to look forward to trying. On the day itself it's always a hassle to get into my suit and it's the part I hate, and sometimes procrastinate through it (wish I could just snap my fingers and be transformed instantly), but once I'm dressed it's SO much fun.
By the way, why don't you join your fellow sisters maskers on the Masking! Discord channel? We discuss these kind of things all the time and you will find much support there. You are not alone in this. It would be an honor welcoming you there.
Deanna (deanna_1925@yahoo.com).
Hey Anima! We all miss ur content, I kinda get how u feel but honestly is pretty amazing all that u can achieve ur such a big inspo for new maskers hope we can see u come back hope ur ok! And like Deanna said u should come to the Discord Channel
Especially if you need inspiration to dress up and mask, the Discord channel is great! Deanna.
Hey, this is the creator of the beccybeautx youtube channel. I'm currently rebuilding the channel and rebranding it for a relaunch at the end of the year. I’ve been following your blog for quite a while now.
Sounds pretty familiar to me. Each time I did it, I felt the need to dress up and experience looking like a woman again. Sometimes it took weeks, sometimes just days. I usually reached my peak on days when I had to think about it all the time and got nervous if I couldn't do it. I had to dress up again, and it really helped to relieve the pressure. At least for a few days. Have you ever thought about the possibility that you might be a woman? I'm asking because your thoughts seem similar to what I experienced before transitioning. I was born male and came to identify as trans in 2022 at age 33.
I've always been drawn to the look of latex. But it was only latex on female bodies. I never thought about wearing latex on my male body. I tried three silicone suits to satisfy my desire to feel my altered feminine body wrapped in latex, but it didn't work. The silicone suit (it was the breasts that bothered me, for some reason) didn't live up to expectations in terms of how latex should feel. The person in the mirror looked female, but the body features clearly weren't mine.
I've been on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) for about 10 months now, and my body has thankfully developed some female features. And I've become quite the latex enthusiast over the past year. I'm even tailoring my own latex clothing to wear out on fetish events. And I absolutely love wearing it now! I don't want to push you in any direction, but I know you were saying that you thought this would be more. That was one of the first things to go away after I started HRT.
The person in the mirror wearing latex today is clearly me. I can feel the material on my skin, and it fits my features quite nicely. I never expected to look like the curvy blonde bombshell I dreamed of, and that's okay. I may look different than other women, but I know I'm beautiful, so I set my own standards for beauty.
Anyway, I started doing female masking so I could look like a woman while having a beard. I still love female masking for everything a mask can do and for being able to be someone else. I also enjoy watching people wear silicone suits. It's still a personal kink of mine. I often wonder if other people who are genuinely into latex and wear latex masks frequently would also like silicone masks if they knew they existed. In my experience, that doesn't happen very often. So perhaps masking is not your personal preference, but rather a way to temporarily become the woman you are.
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