Thursday, November 5, 2009

R4T said...

First, I just wanted to give more publicity and praise to R4T for his comment:

Hey, nobody forces you to buy these videos! The internet is still a free place: Anima is free to post what she wants and to charge what she wants (and try to make money out of it in the process). And we the audience are free not to buy the videos or pictures if we think they are a waste of money or not to our liking. Or stop buying them altogether if we're disappointed too many times.

As for myself, I come here mainly to see the Femskin in action, so no, I did not buy the dancing video. The previews and description made it clear that there wouldn't be any Femsin nudity in there so I just didn't buy it. It's as simple as that.

Anima: keep up the good work and even when I know you're more into latex hopefully we can enjoy some more Femskin soon?

Thank you R4T!!

I'm only posting again having read that one particular comment...

Anyway, to give some context to what has been going through my head in terms of my site/s and content; a week or two back I met up with The Man (TM) I don't know any other aliases, we talked for a couple hours and it ended up opening my eyes to a lot of things regarding my site, my content, but most importantly my masking and fetish related indulgences.

I've had an interest in latex and masking since puberty, it wasn't until 2003 that I started exploring my fetishes because of a relationship. In 2006 I ended up making a blog, not for self-promotion, but to document my thoughts and experiences with my exploration of these interests in such a way that would be palatable to my girlfriend, since I was still trying to introduce her to the fetish world.

Since then the relationship has ended, but the blog has remained. I liked that I had something of an audience and I also liked being able to contribute some amateur pictures to the community every now and then.

My first video was actually shot by accident, since I thought I was taking a picture, but I had actually hit the video-button instead. I let the files sit on my computer for a few months until I told one of my online buddies about them and they expressed some interest in checking them out. When I heard the reaction I saw that there may actually be an audience for such content. I tried to post it here on this blog, but I was quickly asked to take it down since it was considered pornographic. I then tried to sell these items via paypal, but then had my paypal account put on hold since they had been flagged. I eventually found the site that I'm now hosting my content. This site gives me very little say in how much is charged per-video and I see very little of the amount paid.

Initially it was great to be able to recoup some of the costs of my latex and mask collection. So I ran with it, I figured that I would post content when I felt like it and any of the money made from the content would be put back into fetish or video-editing related purchases, which it has.

Over the years I've sunk thousands of dollars into my collection and have only made hundreds back. So it has never been my intention to make this any sort of business or living, since I'm not living on any of the money made from my content. However, it created an odd dynamic between me and my viewers. I recognize that since you are paying for pictures and videos, you now feel as though you have a stake or a say in what I post. I entertained this notion for quite a while and over time I unconsciously started treating my fetish like a job.

It wasn't until I talked to TM that I recognized just how far away I've gotten from my initial reasons in making this site. I thought back and noticed that every time I'd get suited up I was no longer getting tingles of excitement with dressing, but rather it felt as though I was putting on an elaborate work-outfit. For the past year almost, there have only been a handful of occasions where I've actually felt excited about dressing.. and that thought just makes me want to stop dressing altogether.

Anyway, I appreciate the felicitous, and to a lesser degree the specious arguments (more of a humorous appreciation) posed by a few of my commentors. However, I've been re-thinking my fetish and this site in general.
At the moment I think I'm going to take it back to basics, where I'll use this site more as a forum for discussion and fetish related thoughts and anecdotes. I'll still post content, but only when I feel compelled to. This probably means I won't be posting as often, but I'm sure that what I do post will be of higher quality (not higher production).

As a final note:
This site started out as a labor of love and I intend on bringing it back to that place, even if it means I'll be forced to curtail my fetish spending since I'll be making less (or nothing) from it.
This may frustrate the majority of my audience, however it will surely please my quality visitors, friends, and most importantly, myself.

9 comments:

ClosetMonster said...

I can hear the chord of harp music... You've had an epiphany! ;)

Good for you! This should be fun, not a job that you feel you have to do. Back to basics is a great idea.

Over time, you may even figure ways to eek some money out of it, while keeping it fun.

Anonymous said...

i'm all for this new direction. it's your site; do what you want with it.

but when you do post videos, all you have to do is find a host that's free and doesn't charge $10 per video. there's plenty out there; just do some research.

a free (or very cheap) way of distributing the videos will make this site more fun again. hell, post them on dollspride if you want. i'm sure everyone will be all for it.

JenniferCD said...

Hi dear! Thank you very much for your honesty. Sometimes I thought if you were really happy because I saw your videos and were increasingly gloomy. This fetish is very nice but is treacherous, because slowly grabs you slowly just catching until no longer having fun with it. You have to have fun, and that the fetish does not end up being an obligation. And if you don't post so many videos, don't worry if someone is disappointed because first is YOU.
Kisses from Spain!
Jennifer

Ali Silver said...

If it's not fun for you, it's no good... you can't mix business and fetish and still love it.

Do what feels right, or better yet, what feels gooood. ^ ~

After all, that's what all we lurkers are here for, too.

Anonymous said...

Yes, most important that you have fun with this if you're going to keep it up. There are so many things I'd love to see you do and share with us, but if you're not enjoying yourself, it's just not worthwhile -- and if you're not having fun, the quality will suffer anyway. So do what pleases you, what satisfies your kinks, and don't fret.

Anonymous said...

Yes, most important that you have fun with this and we are paying to see you dancing. How stupid we are!

R4T said...

Hi Anima, all I can say is: wow. No idea that my comment would lead to a kind of epiphany for you. You are right that some people here started to treat this place as a pay site where the clients decide what the content will be and I wanted to speak up about that.

But you are absolutely right: you have to be happy with what you are doing. Otherwise why do it at all?

Thank you for sharing a bit of background on how you ended up where you are now on this blog. This was interesting stuff. I will definitely be sticking around to see you blogging more about your fetish hobby and perhaps how it intersects with normal life, something I think most lurkers here have to deal with (including myself). And I will be happy commenting in a respectful way.

CĂ©lia GERACI said...

Good morning,

Anima, you were the greatest female impersonator, and bad comments are not welcomed because this was not your real job. If people doesn't understand this, they have to go away ! No one put people to buy your videos and pictures. I can understand what you are feeling. Pleasure must be the first reason to put on your fetish online. Take your time, and come back when you feel.

Take care of you. ;-)

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PS: I just want to tell you that my dollspride account have just been deleted only because I was telling everybody of my bad story with my femskin III, ripped only after 5 months of use. Deleting is the only answer of chuck, administator.

So, my package, 2300$, goes immediately in my...

Thank you so much for taking a few seconds to read this threat.

RubberMannequin said...

First of all, "what ClosetMonster said".

I have found myself that if I allow or even encourage myself to dress up too often, it becomes less thrilling.

I think you've made a wise decision, and I hope you follow through with it. You'll almost certainly be better off in the long run.

And don't forget that there lots of us would-be rubber dolls out here who don't have and can't afford a Femskin or a large fetish wardrobe.

You are more fortunate than some.