boredom

So, if you all haven't noticed the new convention,
I'll usually respond to your comments via. comments. Also, I commented on the previous post, just so sheyd and kerry don't feel left out and think that I wrote a new post without addressing what they wrote.

Also, I appreciate the increase in messages.
Thanks everyone! keep 'em coming, if you want that is.

aaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, I was browsing around lots of rubber shops and came across a couple pictures of a single outfit that really peaked my interest. I don't know why though.To first give credit: the outfit was made/designed by Rubber55 and the pictures and outfit can be found at http://www.rubber55.co.uk/

I've never been into bondage and straight jackets have never really been my thing, however I really love how these pictures look! I also love the simple color-scheme.
I just thought I'd share.
I hope everyone has a great new years!

longer response and a ramble

A response to TM:
Thanks about the skirt, I'm starting to polarize to extremes among expensive and cheap things, so in a simple cheap-splurge I bought some vanilla clothes. Which is kind of ironic because the stuff I bought is considered edgy (if not just goth-y) however comparative to latex it's pretty uninteresting stuff and was amazingly cheap, compared to rubber, which is pretty darn expensive as everyone reading this already knows.I'm also wearing these gloves from the same online shop that I got the skirt. I actually like these a lot. They're made of rubber and cost me like... 6 dollars or something obscenely inexpensive.

Also, about the ads, I should be able to have some control over what is displayed here, however I've been too lazy to get into the nitty-gritty with how to pick and choose which ads I want shown.
I should get on that..

Now for the ramble:
Yesterday and today I've been kind of out of it with nothing to do, so as a result I've been bumming around the internet an alarming amount, spending most of the time looking though clothing stores of both latex and vanilla varieties trying to figure out what else I might buy myself for Christmas... even though I know that I really shouldn't get anything else.

I've also been looking at lots of masking pictures and masking videos and I've noticed a few trends, most of which I've fallen victim to myself.

The main one that I've seen has been the way that many maskers look like they're gonna pop when cross dressing. What I mean by this is that lots of maskers have their corsets strung up super tight, gigantic size triple-E breasts torpedoing out of their chests, and unbelievably tight costumes cutting off their ability to breathe. As a result lots of maskers look like tightly packed sausages ready to explode, which is not really a good look.
Believe it or not, lots of the time when I mask I feel the exact same way, but I make sure to try to look relaxed, which is helped most by forcing my arms down and shoulders back to give the illusion of being comfortable. Regardless of the fact that I sometimes feel like I'm gonna blow out of my skin.

The next is that we don't know what to do or where to do it!
I see lots of pictures and videos where it's someone awkwardly standing in front of a sheet trying to either hide their home or to create the illusion of a cheap photo-shoot.
Does this sound familiar?(red pointers indicating my own use of previously mentioned sheets)
I've grown to dislike how this looks, but at the same time, have no answers as to what we should do about it or where we should go. The thing is that most pictures tell a story of sorts, but most masking pictures are just flat displays saying; "I bought these clothes, I used these methods to look female, what do you think?" However, as to how we can add 'stories' to our pictures, I'm still unsure.

I know that many of us have tried to change the settings where we mask and rubber up, but lots of the time it still seems awkward to be totally covered in latex out in the woods or near picturesque locations or even in public areas and fetish parties. So I don't know what to do about the settings of our pictures.

Additionally, when taking these pictures, lots of the time we don't know what to do. Although, I guess we don't have to do anything, I just noticed it being especially weird when I see masking videos where someone is just standing in front of the camera or slowly rotating around or worst of all, when someone is grabbing and groping their new girl parts uncontrollably.
However, since I've started taking short movies of myself I too have realized that it's not so easy to think of something interesting to do. So I have no answers.

I do have a female friend who agreed to take pictures of/for me every so often upon request. So I'm hoping that I can get some more organic, better shots out of it.. even though I don't know what I'm going to be wearing, where I'll be having the pictures taken, or what the 'theme' will be... but I'm hoping they'll be better.

Anyway, I've got more to say, but there's no rush. So until next time...
and remember, comments are easier to leave now
=D

Merry X-mas

Merry Christmas everyone!Sorry, I didn't have any themed pictures, but I figured you guys would enjoy something new
=P

Update

well, I recently realized it's not that easy to post here!

So I changed some of the settings and now it should be simpler to leave a comment... and yes, you can leave your ID as anonymous however I would prefer it if you just choose a nickname to go by and stick with it so I can differentiate one user from another.

Also, if you all haven't noticed I haven't had a huge amount of content here lately, but that will change soon enough..
However, as a general note, I don't have nearly enough going on in my personal life to keep all of you interested.
So I'm open for people to leave comments, thoughts, and suggestions.

For example: if you have a/n...
question for me,
idea for a photo-shoot, (not to say I'll necessarily do it)
cool fetish, masking, or latex related link,
experience or insight you want to share,
general conversation topic you'd like to start,
or just feel like saying anything (as long as it's not spam or completely vulgar).

Then leave a message!

*Also, thank you CM*

...the weather outside was frightful...

Oh the crowded highways and bustling aisles,
stores full of panicked shoppers,
and parking lots packed to capacity.
Temperatures approaching freezing and bank accounts quickly emptying,
yes.. it is that time of year again.

(I'm not exactly a holiday type of person)
However, that shouldn't keep any of you from having a happy holiday season!

:P

change of heart

About a week ago I realized that I needed a girl to model some of the items I intend on putting up on e-bay.

I thought about which of my friends I might ask to do so me such a favor, mainly by their figure.
I thought of someone who has a fairly similar body-shape to my ex and decided that I would ask her, especially since I helped her with a photography project a while back where she took about 4 rolls of film of me, naked. So she owed me a favor that may include some discomfort and nudity.

A few days ago I e-mailed her asking if she could do me a favor, she agreed.
Yesterday I got lunch with her and started filling her in on the details of what I was going to be expecting of her; just that I wanted her to model something for me and that I'd be posting pictures online. Again, she agreed, but told me that it would have to be sometime in late January or February since she is going home in a week for Christmas and classes don't begin again until around then.
I told her it was fine even though I kind of wanted the pictures taken sooner than later. She then asked me what exactly she was going to be modeling. I told her, "a couple things," but didn't get any more specific than that. I was hoping to peak her curiosity with my vague response, but I also didn't want to get into a whole drawn out conversation about latex if she didn't have any idea of what it was.

I realized that my strategy worked when she immediately started interrogating me as to what the items were. All I told her was that they were fairly expensive. After another 10 or so minutes of unanswered questions she finally cracked and said that she would be able to do it for me later that day.
I was delighted.

We reconvened and as I was driving her back to my house she started again with the questioning.
This time around I gave in and started slowly telling her.

me: "Are you familiar with latex?"
her: "No."
"Well, the garments I want you to model are made of latex."
"uhm.. ok."

There was an awkward silence.

"That's kind of weird, why are they made of latex?"
"It's kind of complicated."
"How is it complicated? what is it for?"
"Well, the long answer is 'for lots of reasons,' but I'll just say that it's for sex."
"Oh.."
"Yeeeeah, you're gonna have to get naked for this."
"oh..."
"Are you ok with that?"
"I'll see... So why do you have girls latex sex clothes?"

At this point she seemed like she felt fairly repulsed and I felt pretty awkward.

"It's from my last relationship."
"It must've been a weird relationship."
"Yeah... I guess.."

We pulled into my driveway and entered my house.
"Ok, let's make this quick, I have a lot of homework," she snapped at me.
"Yeah, we'll be fast, let me go find everything."

I ran down to my closet and started pulling the garments from their places. As I did I began having second thoughts about doing this, this girl already made me feel so uncomfortable about latex and she hasn't even seen them yet. I was a little afraid that she would completely freak out upon seeing what I was asking of her.

I came back into the room carrying the items; in my left hand a couple hangers and a wad of latex dangling from the right. She looked at the garments as though they were road-kill, then gingerly approached me and with the very tips of her thumbs and fore-fingers hesitantly inspected them.
A kind of nauseous feeling shot through me and I immediately thought, 'Ok, she doesn't like it, I don't care, I just want these pictures to be taken and have this be over with.'
"Alright, so you should get in the shower and soap yourself down."
She shot me a surprised look and I responded with with a frustrated one.

She went into my bathroom, closed the door, and started the shower. A few minutes later I shouted through the door, "all you have to do is soap up! I'm coming in."

"Wait wait wait!"
"Don't worry-" I started as I opened the door.
"What are you doing?!"
"It'll be easier if I help you into it, plus I don't want you ripping anything.. Also, you took pictures of me when I was naked, so don't go and get all self-conscious on me."
"Ok, fine, what should I do?"

I helped her into the first piece of rubber while she complained about it the whole time.
As I was helping her out of it she continued asking me, "so why would anyone buy this stuff?" "why do you still have it?" "why did you get it in the first place?"
Up until this point I was dodging all the questions, but I started getting a little frustrated, so I finally answered.
"I got it cause it's my thing. It turns me on. I had to introduce it to my ex and we would use it every now and then, cause I liked it when she wore latex."

She suddenly changed her tone, but continued with the questions. However, this time she was asking me specifically why I had this fetish. I couldn't really give her a satisfactory answer, but she seemed to respect it a bit more once I gave it a little history and context.
Around this time I started helping her into the other garment, a small top from Honour my ex bought in London, by soaping up her upper back and around her ribs. Once it was on, she told me she thought the top was kind of cute and was very interested in seeing how she looked in it, however I had to stop her since I wanted to polish it before taking any of the pictures.

As I lubed her body and polished the top I was reminded of my last relationship and the times I helped my ex into her rubber. I kind of missed sharing my fetish with someone.

I snapped off the last of the pictures and noticed myself starting to get aroused by the way her body looked all rubbery and glistening, but the urge was deformed by her initially unresponsive way of dealing with it... also, she's just a friend, not a girlfriend, so it was inherently different.

We finished up shortly after.
On the ride home we started talking.

"So that was interesting."
"yeah.. it was."
"I kind of liked the top," she shyly admitted.
"That's nice," I responded with a smile, but didn't believe her.

We continued with some small-talk until I got to her dorm. We hugged goodbye,
"You know... you're gonna owe me dinner when I get back."
"Sure."
"And let me know how everything sells."
"Will do, but I still don't know if I'm gonna sell that top."
"Good," she said as she cracked a smile,
"I'll see you next year."

(One of the pictures taken)

One down, more to go

Well, the catsuit I was selling by Nimue didn't sell all that well. However, it suppose it was fairly obvious that it wasn't a fantastic suit anyway.

I don't think I ever wrote about my experience buying from Nimues Latex shop, so I figure that now is about the best time to do it.
Originally I was a little skeptical at her affordably priced custom-made catsuit deal, however, I felt as though it may just have been gimmick to get her name out and to prove to her customers that she was legit. So I thought I would give her a shot.

I knew that custom-work takes a while to process, so I didn't bother her too much about giving me specifics as to when it should be ready. However, a month after I placed the order I still hadn't heard a thing. At this point I just wanted to satisfy my curiosity as to when it should be arriving and sent her an e-mail.
A few days later she responded to me and informed me that it would be about another month.
Then at the end of that month, I e-mailed her again asking about when I should be expecting it. This continued on and her e-mail responses got shorter and shorter while at the same time getting meaner and meaner.

In the end, the catsuit took 6 months from placing the order to arrival.
Honestly, by the time it came in the mail I had totally forgotten about ordering it. But regardless, I immediately tried it on and immediately found that it didn't fit me at all. Needless to say, I wasn't pleased. However, I wanted to give the suit a shot for a little longer, however after having it nearly a year and realizing that I've only worn it once, selling it seemed like the best option.

In the end, buying from her was a waste of money and I don't expect to make that same mistake again.
If anyone has any similar, or completely different buying experiences from her or other manufacturers, I'd be happy to hear about it (in comment form),
=P

The sales continue

I know, I know.
It's annoying that I'm advertising the items I'm selling here on my blog. However, it's relevant and... I need the money!

I'm sorry to see these items go, but I figured that I just needed some more room in my closet and bulk in my bank account.

Here are a few shots of the catsuit I'm selling:
For more pix and info, you can check out my listing on e-bay.
Item number: 220180127295

corset

Ooooh, I pulled the corset from e-bay cause a friend voiced strong interest in it, so I'm holding it for him.
I'd say too bad, but nobody bid on it yet, soooooooooooo... not too bad?

Anyway, I'm gonna be selling more stuff in the coming weeks. However, as of right now, I'm coming down with a cold, so I'm just gonna relax and watch some movies.
ta

Ebay Sale

Okay, well I've put a couple items on e-bay.

:Corset:(wearing the corset I'm selling and a polymorph catsuit (that I'm not selling))

Well, this corset has been great to me for.. I guess it's been a couple years now. I really don't want to give it up, but it doesn't fit anymore so it seems like it's time for it to go. For more information on it you can check it out on e-bay.

The item number is: 220177699728
and here is a link to the page.

:Catsuit by Nimue:(wearing both the corset and catsuit that I am selling)

I'm also selling this catsuit by Nimue.
And again, I'm unhappy about letting this go, but it doesn't fit anymore. It's a little loose, and I really like my stuff to be skin-tight.
The item number is: 220177275267
and here is a link to the page.

If you have any questions you can either ask me through e-bay, post it as a comment here, or e-mail me.

Happy bidding!!!

making space

WOW, I've exceeded 100,000 hits! Yay me!
thanks everybody!

Anyway, I'm planning on selling a few of my latex items and maybe a corset on e-bay. I'll put links up here as I list 'em. So keep checkin' back here if you're at all interested in getting some new latex for the new-year!!
=D

Also, you know that the proceeds will be going to a good cause, (cause I'll be using it toward other fetish gear of which I'll be posting pictures of up here)

The real Thanksgiving

Okay, so today is the real day. So I hope everyone enjoys it
=P
Also, thanks Closet, I'll try. hehe

I'm not totally sure when I'm gonna get back to masking... Fairly soon I assume. I just need to organize and clean all my gear first, which may actually take a few days. I'm realizing that my collection is getting pretty large.

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

out of date

Lately when I think about masking or cross dressing, I've been feeling like I'm not quite up to date with all the gear.

I'm still entirely into latex and all that, of course. However, I find myself only really being excited at the idea of masks like those of Natori or SPFX. In terms of padding; I've tried so many options and have never really been that amazed by any of them, but am seeing such great things with femskin... however, I really don't have the cash to be blowing on any of their bodysuits or masks... gleh.

I'm really excited at the idea of when I do have money, what new and fancy CDing toys there will be.
=D

However, I'm impatient =/

struggling

welp, I've been struggling a little bit with work and trying to secure a good dance-job in the Spring. It seems like I just got the offer, but my employer doesn't seem happy with me, so I'm still a little stressed about it..
and as a result, I've been working a TON, so not so much latex and masking time.

=T

arrival

welp, my new rubber leotard came the other day, put me in a better mood =D


**thanks kryer and closet for the comments

time change!

between the hour being different, dancing way too much, and love-life problems
I'm feeling really low...

:(

Halloween

Welp, my Halloween was kinda boring. Didn't do much, I ended up actually staying with a friend for a few days, which was kind of fun, kinda not. meh..

**
thanks feo

Updates!!

Closet's site just updated!! yay!

also, check out the new pix at femskin.
I want one of those SOOOOOOO BAAAAAAAAD.
sigh..

Halloween

So, anyone going to be dressing up for Halloween?

I haven't in years, but that's just cause I'm uninteresting and never go out for things like that.

So, what're you guys gonna dress as?Gals, perhaps? hehe.

**Kryer
OOh, rubber doll gear is coming in a couple weeks? will there be pictures?!
but being death is fun too I guess
=P

latex over latex

:In this picture:
1st layer - butt pads, breasts, female mask
2nd layer - silver catsuit
3rd layer - doll-legs, rubber gloves, top
4th layer - mini-skirt, latex leggings, corset

Closet raised an interesting question that I've had a bit of trouble with myself.
Getting latex over latex; in the past I've always just worked it over, with no talc or any sort of lubricant. I tend to like the way this looks, but it just takes an eternity and puts a lot of stress of the clothing since you have to be pinching and pulling at it so much.

However there have been times when I get really lazy and just soap-up the under-layer then slide the rest over it and when I'm finished getting dressed I use a towel to wipe away the excess suds. The problem with doing it this way is that as you move around the garments slip, slide and don't really hold in place. It creates a neat sensation, but makes the clothes fit kind of funny and it also gets a little messy.

Anyone have any good tips & tricks as to how to get rubber over rubber when rubbering up? (I couldn't think of a way to squeeze another 'rubber' in that sentence =P )

manic monday

gyah, today was boring...
I ended up spending the whole day inside doing nothing... granted, it's my day off, but days I don't work tend to be the ones where I don't do anything.
I can't wait till my next rubber garment shows up, it should only be a couple weeks.. in the meantime, lots of dancing
=P


I think I'm finally learning what kind of padding I like/looks right on me.. which is good cause it's pretty minimal.. I just wish my waist was thinner =/

hype?

So I was browsing around the internet and came across this ad campaign for 'hype energy drink.'
I thought it was fake, but apparently it's real.



I'd kill for one of those catsuits! They're so bad-sci-fi movie futuristic. I'd also kill for one of their bodies =/

** ya, I know who bianca beauchamp is, or I did before her chest exploded, hehe.

response & details

Okay, I got a message about a picture of my doll top on the gallery. So, my response to that is, your assumption is correct, it's cut from a inflatable doll, the 'latex lover' to be exact.

Thank you for the comments Kryer, Xerxes, and Closet.
Anyway, after I made the telephone call, I figured that I'd throw on some rubber bell-bottoms and take a few pictures. Also, since I was actually dressing during the day, I figured I'd use some of the natural light and take pictures in my living room.
I considered going outside, but upon looking outside, there were far too many people for me to feel at all comfortable strutting around out there. =/

*morticia*
Ya, I think a custom-made suit is the way to go. After having gone through two sex-dolls and just realizing how uncomfortable and unpleasant they are to wear I definitely agree with you about that.

generous mood

Well, things have been going fairly well for me lately, so I'm spreading the happiness by posting up a gallery. It's mostly old stuff, but the reason why I organized it into a gallery that is off this site is because, as I said before, I can't put 'mature' content up here... but I don't think there are any rules about linking over to mature content XP

So enjoy all the shiny dildo, crotch bulge, and prosthetic nipple shots that I've got here.
I've also added a link over in my links section on the right, so you can get to it easily.
ALSO, I should be adding a video or two up there, so keep checkin'

Finally, I'd like to give a big 'thank-you' to The Man for hosting not only this gallery, but also for hosting the header-picture on this site.

Now this is the part when I ask for comments and Closet-Monster feels guilted into reluctantly writing me a message.
hehe

**Thanks Kryer

that was fast!!!

Today I woke up extra late, which I hate doing, and because of this I ended up missing a call from a client. So I missed out on some much needed work.
Needless to say, I was put into a bad mood from the get-go. However, upon checking the mail, I saw I had a package.

I immediately knew what it was and was delighted. I immediately took the parcel inside and anxiously ripped it open as I poured myself a bowl of cereal. I draped the latex t-shirt out in front of me and couldn't wait to try it on. So without even using talc, I worked it over my torso. It felt good to have heavy rubber pulling at my body again.

I looked at myself in the mirror and wondered how it would look with some breasts filling out the chest. So I grabbed my silicone inserts and stuffed them underneath the pink hearts.
From hips to neck I felt like latex-dipped femininity.


While still wearing my new rubber and silicone breasts, I listened to my messages and called the client back while munching on my cereal looking out the window at all the people and cars passing by feeling content with my new acquisition, especially cause it only cost me 30 dollars with shipping!
=D

nearly a week

welp, I think it might be a while till I get my new rubber. The first garment to arrive will probably be... I don't know, a week or two from now at soonest. Then the other will most likely take about a month to arrive, since I think it has to get put together first.

So yeah, no latex or masking for a little while, however I still have pictures to let out.. like this one -

In other news, I may be putting up some of those 'mature pictures' that I was talking about before, but I'll have to link to them instead of putting it here directly. =/

something missing here?

There's corsetry, masking, CD-ing...
But there's no latex in this picture!

Well, last week I ordered some new rubber direct from the manufacturer with the cash made from this site (thanks everybody). I've also been browsing around e-bay and consistently bidding on latex, but never winning anything since my maximum bid stays very low.
But! I just won something recently that I'm really excited about, since it looks thick and I adore heavy-gauge latex.
exciting!

Funky ads

stretching and thigh exercises?

I'm getting frustrated that there's nothing latex, rubber, masking, or even lycra related.
I'll have to look into it and see if I can get some more relevant stuff up here
=/

response and explanation

Well, in this photo-set I'm constantly covering my breasts cause... if I show anything that would be considered 'mature content' then I lose some privileges... and I don't want that happenin' anytime soon! especially since I'm gonna be getting my first check soon, which will be paying for my next garment, which I think I'm gonna order tonight! I'm excited.

I may post the mature stuff elsewhere, but I'm still not sure if I will or not yet. However, if I do, I'll let everyone know here.

**response to closet**
my sentiments exactly
=P

face-to-face

Well, I took Closet's advice to heart.

Anyway, I was out at an event for a few hours when D tracked me down and tried to strike up a conversation, of which I kept shooting her down. I completely snubbed her, so with each attempt in trying to talk to me, I just turned away and pretended as though she didn't exist, which was rather awkward.

After the event was over I felt a little guilty for treating her so badly without any explanation I felt inclined to send her an e-mail or give her a call. However, in my guilty and depressed state I felt as though it would be best to sleep on that decision and see if the following morning I would still feel inclined to contact her.
So in order to keep myself occupied I made plans with friends, even though those plans were things I wasn't even remotely interested in. Eventually I found myself sitting on a couch at a friends house as he played video games and I stared off into space thinking about D.

It was about 1 am and I decided to call it a night. I told him I was leaving and started my return home. I drove slowly down the road in a nostalgic haze, thinking about all the good and bad times D and I shared.
As I pulled into my driveway I heard my cellphone ringing, I searched around for the phone secretly hoping that it was her calling. I couldn't find it though, I noticed that the ring sounded faint and far away. I opened the car door and saw my phone resting near an open window in my house. I had left my phone at home and didn't even realize it.

I ran upstairs and retrieved the phone moments after the final ring. It said that I had missed 3 calls, I checked who they were from, they were all from her.
I called her back,
"Hey," I started.
"Hey, I didn't think you were gonna call me back."
"Yeah..."
"So about today..." she began.
"I was meaning to.. well, I dunno."
"Do you want to talk in person?" she asked.

With some hesitation I agreed.
I went and picked her up, I saw her silhouette emerge from the darkness as I idled on the street near her room. I looked back to the steering wheel as she entered the car.
"Hey," she meekly sputtered out.
I didn't respond.

I drove to a vacant parking lot and stopped the car, we hadn't exchanged any words. As the engine rumbled out I couldn't figure out why I was there. I had been so dead set on not seeing her, not talking to her, just avoiding everything D-related, and here I was sitting beside her in my car at 1:30am. I knew that the situation was awkward and that I needed to say something, but I knew that the moment I started speaking and the moment I looked at her I'd probably fall right back into the whole mess.
A minute or so of silence passed and I could tell she didn't know what I was thinking and to be honest, I didn't know what I was thinking either.

I opened the door and got out of the car, I heard her call out my name just as I slammed the door. I walked around the back of the car and opened the passenger door, she looked up at me with a confused expression on her face. I stood there a moment holding the door when she got out from the seat, as she did I threw my arms around her and hugged her tightly. Her arms were still at her sides, as though she was shocked that I was hugging her opposed to yelling at her or something of the like.
I felt her slowly wrap her arms around me and she held me close burying her face into my chest. A moment later I shifted away and she took my arm and pulled me in for a kiss, but I turned my head and dodged to the side as I snapped my hand back. I walked back to the drivers side and got back into the car.

I then began explaining why I was avoiding her, she took my hand and started caressing it. I didn't pay much attention to it as I continued. A bit later she unzipped my track jacket and started rubbing my chest with her palm. I stopped to poke fun at the situation, in how I was explaining to her why I was avoiding her and she didn't seem as though she was listening at all. Although, it was good to be touched again, since it had been months since the last time I had any female contact.

It got later and later and I felt my inhibitions lowering and lowering. I reached a point where I knew that if I stayed in the car any longer I would have done something I would have regretted. So I drove her back to her room and before she got out of the car she hesitated, I knew that she wanted something more to happen, but I knew that it shouldn't.
She took my hand again and said, "well, I'll see you around I guess,"
I explained to her that I only met with her to explain what was going on with me, this didn't mean that we were friends again or things between her and I were at all good. She seemed a little confused by me and I told her that, "Once I've had sex with someone, it tends to complicate things."
she responded, "well, I wouldn't know, I've only had sex with one other person... but him and I aren't on speaking terms, so I know what you mean, I guess."

There was another pause, "so, this is just going to fade away, isn't it?" she asked, hoping I would say no. But I responded with, "well, yeah.. that's kind of the point," even though I did want to reassure her that everything would work out in the end, but I knew things between her and I were at a point where they could only get worse.
She clutched my hand tightly with both palms, as though she wanted to say something but couldn't. She then silently exited the car and walked into the night without looking back.

I was a little saddened to see her go, but at the same time I felt like it was for the best.

The next day she called me to tell me she wasn't going to call me again, I thought it was an ironic way of telling me that, but I agreed. However, the following day she called me just to say hi and so on for the next few days, all of which I was fairly removed from.

One night she called while I was playing video games, she sounded upset, but I was completely unresponsive. As she tried to continue the conversation I cut her off and told her I was busy, she seemed upset and let me get off the phone. 5 minutes later I called her back, feeling a little guilty, but she had turned her phone off. I left a message just saying hi and if she wanted to talk, we could.

The following day I got a missed call when I woke up, so I called her (thinking she had called me), but it turned out that she hadn't. I felt kind of stupid calling her by accident, but she was happy to hear from me. She asked what I was doing that day, I told her I was rehearsing some dance stuff in a studio. We continued talking for a few minutes until she entered the studio I was in and we continued our conversation in person.
We agreed to see each other and talk more that night, since we both had things to do during the day.

We met up again that night and had an awkward meeting, making small-talk and both pretending everything was alright, being civil and all. At one point she put her arm around me and held me tightly as we spoke, she kept putting her face closer and closer to mine making it abundantly clear that she wanted more.

We carried on conversation about the scenery, the weather, and other uninteresting subjects. I kept stealing glances of her face as she spoke, admiring her full lips and button nose. As she made herself closer and closer to me I eventually cracked, took her chin in my palm and turned her head towards mine. I leaned in and kissed her just for an instant.
I immediately looked down and felt guilty for breaking the promise I made to myself that I wouldn't drag myself back into this. I saw her smiling, looking ecstatic that we had kissed again, but at the same time trying to hide her glee.
She leaned in to kiss me and I hesitated, she then lowered her head and started kissing my neck. It felt good to be physically close to her again, too good.

We went back to my car and started fooling around a bit until I realized that my car is cramped and I'm not that flexible, so I drove back to my house.
I took her by the hand and led her to a couch in my living room, she happily followed. I plopped down on the couch and she jumped on top of me. As we kissed I took her clothes off and she did the same to me. Once we were both naked she immediately started stroking my member while watching me intensely. It felt like it was the first time I had been touched and I was completely out of control. I just laid back feeling paralyzed under the waves of pleasure pounding against me.

I eventually regained control of my body and pinned her down under me, I paused a moment above her, since I didn't know what she wanted to do. She then reached her arm up under me and gently cupped my ::ahem::, then glided her palm to my shaft and pulled me into her.
(I put on a condom)
and we started grinding against each other. The first time we had sex she seemed like a deer in the headlights, frozen and afraid. The second she seemed a little more comfortable, but this time she was grinding against me hard while gripping my back tightly. She pulled me down and began cooing with pleasure and breathing heavily. Toward the end she began saying my name over and over again as the pushes got harder and harder. I gripped her tightly and my upper body locked as my lower half pressed into her uncontrollably.

After it was finished I slumped off of her and we laid there on the couch looking into each other's eyes as she caressed my cheek with her left hand...

...and I didn't feel guilty anymore...
no..
I felt stupid and weak.


**she's still with her boyfriend**
(I forgot to mention)

I'm an idiot!!!

but I'll explain why later.

now, enjoy this picture =P

(yes, it is the ever allusive doll-suit)

help and info!

Okay, first with the info. I stumbled across this site sticky-site.com
I think it's pretty relevant and is loaded with fantastic art! the only problem is I can't navigate it at all! ugh, I've got to work on this computer illiteracy I've got goin' on.

On a related note, the HELP section.
So, does anybody know how to edit HTML? I have a different site where I need to ad links and put up linked pictures, however you have to do it through the HTML which I am totally unfamiliar with. can anybody help me?! please leave a comment if you know how to do either.
Thank you!

irrelevant ads

As my ads become less and less relevant, I find that means that what I'm talking about is getting further and further from the intended subject of this blog. So I'll try to get back on track.

Unfortunately I haven't dressed in a while nor have I bought anything new lately, but I have been in the market for it. I'm debating as to whether I should purchase some low-cut latex-jeans, cause I just adore womens leg-ware, even though I should be getting a dress, blouse, or just something for my upper-body. I do have my eye on a leotard and a blouse, but I think from those two I'll only be getting one... I should probably get the blouse, but it's hard for me to resist the leotard! since I prefer things that are tight, even though something loose would probably create a better effect.

decisions!!!
input? or suggestions as to what I should buy?

Response to Closet

Yeah, I'm planning on telling her, but I'm still letting the dust settle a bit. I figure when she really tries to get back in contact with me, then I'll let her know how things are on my end. Cause I've just gotten sick of being 'the other guy,' cause it's a position I never wanted to be in in the first place, and it's one that I don't intend on returning to any time soon.

slow news day

Welllllllllllll,

not much has been going on with me.
I've pushed back my travel plans until the winter / next year, I've been dancing a ton, teaching a bit, deciding on a new latex outfit to buy, and...
well, my love-life right now is basically at a stand-still.

There's one girl who just returned from home who has been calling me, presumably she still wants a relationship, which I do not. Also, D has returned and called me for the first time today.
I never finished the story about her... I suppose I'll sum it up quickly before I give my synopsis of all that.

D and I kissed for the first time, she started dating some other guy, we then made-out again, then fought, then made-up and messed around, fought, made-up, fought, made-up... you see where this is going.
My main conflict with her was just the fact that she couldn't make up her mind, one minute she was saying it was a mistake for her to be with anyone other than me and says she's going to break up with her boyfriend, then she doesn't and seems all the more dedicated to the relationship. The cycle revolved over and over again until I met up with her in California when her and I had sex for the first and last time (which I take pretty seriously in general, and I assume she does too). I reached a peak with my feelings for her, but then the cycle started up again and I just got frustrated.
Now she's back in town and I'm just fed up with it all.

So she called, I didn't really say much, literally leaving huge silences in the conversation and in a way I'm hoping that if I just leave it alone, everything'll go away, cause in the end, everything involving her has just dragged me down.

however, I suspect that things won't go so smoothly, so I'm anticipating some depressed times on the horizon.
So you've all been warned
XP

I'm so spoiling you guys right now...

... but I've been too busy lately to do anything about it.
=P

comments are always appreciated.

new photo-set

oh me, oh my

Well, I finally heard back from the Japanese government.
My visa has been approved, which means I should be moving back to Japan soon-ish.. However, I thought that it had all fallen though, so I made plans to stick around. So I'm totally confused as to what I should do!!!The main drawback with going back is that it's going to cost a ton!
However, the main asset is that I loved being there and I have about as many friends there as I have here, as well as family.

decisions, decisions.

test

I see that there's this video option thing, so I'm just posting this video I accidentally took when I thought I was taking a picture. I think it's kinda obvious how I go to pose, then realize that nothing happened, so I go back to turn it off.


(oh yeah, it's kinda warped cause I had to flip the image)

Also, I chose this video over other ones cause... the other ones are a little mature to be putting on this site.
=P

a quick upload before bed

T's and V's

Well, pretty soon I'm going to be in the market for something new.. I'm always turned on by skirts, pants, and other things that cover my lower-half. However, I've come to realize that aside from catsuits, all my rubber is lower-body oriented. So I'm in dire need of some sort of top. regardless of how badly I want those new Simon-O capris (the 3/4 pants).

The other day I looked at my pile of latex, lube, rubber, masks, catsuits, dildos, vibrators, jeans, shoes, boots, wigs, etc. It strikes me less of a fetish wardrobe and more of a collection of various prosthetics and disguises. A pile of tricks and illusions where the sum is the ability for Anima to exist.. and to a lesser extent, Animus..

it's strange, looking at shopping for a new garment not so much as an individual piece of clothing that I want, but rather strategic way of helping create a look or complete an ideal.. Cause I really do need some sort of blouse or something to cover my upper-half and arms.
=/

response to Closet*
I've actually been dancing for about 8 years now and just started teaching kinda legitimately. However, I lost track of most of the episodes myself.
=P

I'm so bad about keeping up with TV shows for some reason.

Yargh

Well, "So You Think You Can Dance?" is over...
however, my favorite dancer (Sabra) won,
yay!
Ok, back to reality.

cam-virgin no more

So this is not at all fetish related, however I'm gonna write about it anyway.
=p

Well, I've been talking to D on and off for the past while, regardless of whether it's been good for me or not. I guess I've been a little bit lonely lately with only a couple friends around to hang out with, but never speak too seriously with.

Anyway, D's been bugging me to chat with her over web-cam, but I've been consistently avoiding it, just cause I feel like it'll be awkward and I don't see what's wrong with just chatting over the phone. However, the other day she wore me down at an opportune moment when I was totally bored and had recently remembered where my web-cam was.

So after some coercion she convinced me to hook mine up and we started talking. At first I couldn't help but find it awkward, cause my strongest association to web-cams is for more adult or at least more fetish / sexual related purposes.

After I got past the fact that this chat wasn't some inherently sexual thing and we really started communicating more normally I started to realize the allure of using web-cams. There were times when it felt as though we were just hanging out, talking, like two normal people in the same room.
There was a moment when she started talking about slightly more serious... or at least personal matters, dealing with wanting to perform fairly G-rated acts on me. I started to entertain the possibilities when I reached out toward the screen and thought (as well as basically said), "that would be great, but... we've got this... country between us.."

In the end I felt fairly frustrated, as though I was on a diet and looking through the window of a pastry shop... or quitting smoking while walking through a smoky bowling alley.

This actually all ties back to my inherent dislike for technology in general. Regardless of how much I like video-games, DVDs, and the internet, I hate what technology has done for people and relationships. I dislike how people who know one another intimately can continue feeling close, even though they may be far from one another. I think in so many ways it goes against nature, when people are far from one another, they should feel that way, when people are close, then they should feel that way, but when one feels close when they are far... it's just pain... in my opinion at least.

it's probably why web cams tend to be normally used for more... recreational purposes.
hehe.

still kickin'

Welp, I just recently got my mask back from Betty LaBamba who was nice enough to fix my mask.So now it seems like I don't need a new mask. However, that's not to suggest I couldn't use one. Hmm hmm, I'll have to figure something out, but it's not too huge of a deal.

Also, I wanted to also put up something new, even though it's not too exciting.

I just wanted to show everyone, myself included, that I was still up to masking and all that.. However, tonight I didn't really go all out or anything cause... well, it's pretty late, plus I haven't unloaded a lot of my rubber and x-dressing gear yet.

I really think I might've lost some weight, cause everything was fitting kinda loosely, except for the corset of course. hehe
:P

pay-off

Soooooo my ads finally reached 100 dollars... which means it's pay-day!!
Hmmm, I don't know what to get with it... a mask? some article of clothing?!

Anyway, thank you visitors!!

*response to closet:
thank you for the comment. I'm happy that you and presumably others feel that way about me/my site.
However, I also feel like many or most things in my life take priority over my fetish... functionally, yet unfortunately.

now for something a little different...

I took this picture while I was in Japan.
However, while posting it now I'm realizing that I hardly ever put any pictures of myself up while in my normal, masculine form. (however, I guess I call my male side 'Animus' and this isn't Animus's site, so I guess it's fitting)

I also realized that this is also one of the few pictures where my real face is actually exposed, ok... partially exposed.
I think I've talked about this before, but when I first started putting pictures online I made the conscious decision not to reveal my face... not only to keep myself 'anonymous' but moreover because I think that when someone, especially a guy, shows their real face on the net then it says a lot about them.
It's saying one of a few things:
I'm all about latex, fetish, x-dressing, etc. so much so that it's a central to my personality.
I'm trying to find a mate through this online identity.
Or that I'm really after a more real transformation, opposed to a superficial one.

and honestly, I've always been more interested in the process of changing my form, face, genitalia, etc. with prosthetics. So I feel as though I fall into the category of masker and x-dresser who always keeps their face hidden, not to remain anonymous, but rather... I think it's better that way, never knowing what's under the silicone, padding, mask, and rubber, because honestly, nobody comes to this site to see my real face anyway
XP

*Response to Closet:
ya, while browsing google images I did find a few pictures of her with short hair, however the poses were all different. So I picked a picture that was a bit more iconic and probably more recognizable to most people.

RE:

Closet:
silver sable?unfortunately I haven't read any comics in years, however with the aid of google I was able to see who you are talking about.
it's flattering. =D
I kind of see the resemblance (she kind of looks like storm actually).

Ghostly:
I do suppose I would need to be in all silver for it to really work. Unfortunately the silver catsuit I was wearing in this photo ripped!! :(
and yeah, it seems all too often that I need to try to guilt some comments out of my visitors as well.
bleeh, it's no fun, is it?

sarahbright:
thanks for the long, intricate message.
I too used to feel the way you do about rubbering up (I'm using the past tense partially because it's been such a long time for me :P ). However, the last few times that I dressed, I found it to be less erotic and myself feeling like less of an object..
I was dressing so frequently that it was like I was kind of shifting into a slightly altered personality, a persona I was getting so aquainted with that it wasn't inherently exciting anymore.

The reason for me dressing more was to let that part of myself out along with the fact that I liked the whole process of thinking of ideas that may help me achieve a more feminine look, then putting different garments together to help create the illusion.
I have had some interest in dressing, yet I haven't for 2 reasons.
1) I don't have any new & fun gear to get me excited about dressing.
2) NJ is in the middle of a heat-wave.. so it's not just hot, it's disgustingly, health-threateningly hot.
blaah.

removed

I was just looking through some older photos and I'm always taken aback when looking at rubbered up / masked pictures of myself.
It always feels as though I'm looking at someone else and is hard for me to even imagine that it's me under all that padding, latex, and foam rubber.

yoshhhhh

So, I've been busy... any surprise?!?!
hehe.

I feel like I have some masking and latex wearing on the horizon, I'm just not sure as to when exactly..

in other news.. nothing fetish related.. I guess it seems to go that way over the summer, when the weather is hot and rubber really doesn't seem to be the lightest or most pleasant material to slide into... even though it is tempting at times..
but come to think of it, it seems like new material tends not to crop up too frequently over the summer... weeird..

uhmmmm, it's also annoying having to constantly coerce comments out of all of you!! however, I don't have any new material, so I won't do it this time... unless I just did. ;P

kay, g'nite!

boo!

I'm still alive.

Well, unfortunately I don't have anything fetish related to update on... again.
So I guess I'll just tell you all about my amazing adventures in real life!.. okay, they're not amazing at all, in fact, I've been doing nearly nothing.
I've just been doing research, studying Japanese, dancing a ton, and spending time with a few new people, most of whom I don't really click with at all.

I've been considering dressing, however I haven't lately largely because 1) it's super hot and 2) I don't have any new gear to get me all excited for rubber..
However, I should be getting a check for my ads kinda soon, which means I have some fun money, however I can't think of anything to get with it.. probably because my taste is a little too expensive =/

I guess that I've kinda been in a down-slump in terms of latex and masking lately... and the fact that I haven't found any new or interesting material on the net certainly hasn't helped!!!

anyway, if anyone has any around-100-dollar purchase suggestions or interesting kinky links to pass over my way, feel free to leave a message!

UGH!!

it's far FAR too hot to dress now-a-days...

S'no fun!

however, I don't have any new gear anyway, so it's not too exciting anyway.
=/

Back!

Okay, I'm back in NJ, had about as good a time as I could have in Cali, however I haven't been thinking too much about masking/dressing lately...

and you know what hasn't helped?!
the lack of comments on this site!
=P

(the fact that I feel like I've gained a little weight hasn't helped either)

Oakland

Welp, I made it.

I just drove up the coast for basically 7 hours and am now in the Oakland area for a day or so.... and I am exhausted! but happy that I have internet!! yay!
in the meantime, I'm going to be lounging around enjoying the cable and air-conditioning.
XD

compiled

Hey, well. In my spare time I went through all my old pictures and compiled a bunch that I haven't yet posted. So, I figure that I'll start airing them out, for lack of new content.

LA

So I'm here in LA, not doing anything.

Not entirely sure why I agreed to come out, since I've got basically nothing to do. However, I guess it's nice being in a new place.

Before coming, I decided not to bring any latex or fetish stuff, which turned out to be a good decision since I'm staying at my father's place and he's coming home early, so I wouldn't have really had any time anyway.

Anyway, I'm all jet-lagged, so I have nothing fetish related to write about at the moment.. BUT! from my ads I'm reaching pay-day. So I should be pulling in a $100 towards fetish gear soon, but I have no idea as to what I should get!
any suggestions?

pre-flight

Okay, So I'm going to be in LA starting this Thursday for about a week. Now, I have very little to do while there and know basically nothing about the city and the area. So if anyone knows of anything interesting or fun to do while there, let me know.
Thank you

(p.s. that includes vanilla/touristy stuff)

YAY!

Closet updated his site!

sleepy

Okay, well I've been pretty sick lately, so much so that I haven't been sleeping very much at all, or eating right, or doing anything productive. So, I haven't been thinking much about latex or anything like that, however I feel like I'm on the up and up, even though I still have this really unpleasant sounding cough left over from it.

Normally when I get sick I lose weight, however this time I feel like I've gained weight. I never really know for sure until I get all dressed in skin-tight rubber, but I feel fatter. =(
So to motivate myself I'm posting a few pix I took from a thinner time.



P.S. -
Thank you for the message Bart.
I know the feeling (of not knowing what to say) but it is appreciated that something was said. =P
also, yeah. Introducing latex to one's partner is not the easiest thing in the world, but it's great once you have it all out in the open. So Good Luck!! =D

P.P.S. -
I have an interesting photo-set idea in the works. So there may be something fun to look at here in the coming weeks... but don't get your hopes too far up!
XP

So a few weeks ago I had this conversation with a friend of mine about sex and I don't feel like we ended up fleshing it out all that well.
Anyway, the conversation itself is rather unimportant I suppose, but we had some disagreements about sex, or at least sexual behavior and how it's handled.

I was describing to her how the idea of just regular old mechanical in and out sex day in and day out gets old. I mean, we all know this, if not from personal experience then from the media, seeing the stereotypical husband and wife that don't even touch each other anymore.. if not that, then it can be seen in the romanticized version of infidelity that's all over movies and television shows now.

The thing is, I feel like sex and sexual behavior is a beautiful thing, it can be an expression of one's-true self, but it can also just be a cage, routine, a fulfillment of a physiological need. It seems all too often when talking to friends in long-term relationships that they have just lost sexual interest in their partners. When they have sex they just think of someone else to stay in the mood.. and it seems that this has become a normal coping method for lots of couples.

I personally feel like this is killing sex, morality, and even to some extent, marriage in the US.
On a purely experience-based level, I feel like when one is not present in a moment as special or intense as sex, then they are missing out on something wonderful.
I think it's terrible when I hear my guy friends talk about methods of 'holding out' which involves thinking 'unsexy' thoughts, so they can squeeze a few more minutes into the mechanical reaming of their mate.
Conversely, I think it's even worse when people need to fantasize about other people while having sex in order to make it more exciting. The main reason why I think this is problematic, aside from not being present in the moment, is that if someone's turn-on or even fetish is the novel value of someone new, then how long will it be until they fulfill this fantasy in reality?

I mean, we all know the feeling, we all went through the stage where we would get excited at the thought of latex, masking, etc. and there just came a point when we had to experience it ourselves. (for those of you who haven't yet, you will.. and it will be good)
What I'm getting at here is that thought is the first step before action, so if one thinks about someone else while with their partner, it won't be long until they will be doing someone else all together. Which of course causes problems for monogamous relationships.

I've always liked the idea of being able to fulfill any and every fantasy with the person that you are with. Yeah, latex, masking, etc. it's not cheap, but I feel like it's so much healthier for any relationship, since you can share the most superb, amazing, and sexually satisfying fantasies with one partner over a life-time and you don't have to secretly fantasize about anyone else. I feel like it's entirely worthwhile to shell out some cash and make fantasies into realities all within the boundaries of a relationship.

However, as many of us know or can imagine, functionally integrating a fetish like this one into a healthy relationship can be far from easy; with the time it takes to dress up and the mechanical issues involved in masking, corsetry, etc. but it seems like a small price to pay in order to maintain satisfaction, internal security, and both ones self and partner mentally present during sex.

Thank you for the comments Jeremy and Closet.
Being the person on the side... sucks. I don't recommend it to any self-respecting individual.

Yeah.. D's gone now, but wasn't ever really here I suppose.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little relieved. Anyway, I have been getting a bit more into the mood of dressing, however I still haven't picked up my mask. Also, a friend of mine will be staying with me for about a week soon, so no dressing.

gleeeeeeeh.. as usual.